Kamalamma and the wedding baraat

Myself Kamalamma from Kunjibettu in Udupi, Karnataka.

What to tell you. The other day the Mister is reporting that our Aamir Khan’s son-in-law is running to his own wedding and the public is trolling him for that. Tchah …. people are not happy with anything. What is wrong if the boy is walking, jogging or jumping like kangaroo to wedding. It is his wedding, his choice. But, it seems the groom is running 8 km to his wedding on public roads, in banian and boxers! Now, public will talk or not?

It seems along with the groom full baraat is also running! Abbabba. The Mister is saying thank God they are not inviting us for the wedding, otherwise we also would have to run with them in chaddi-banian or what? 

But, what I am saying …  this mode of transport for groom’s party is good only if band-baaja people are not running with them, otherwise 100% all will reach after one month maybe. North weddings are happy and fun, but as it is, their baraat is taking half a day to reach marriage hall. Ohoho! 

Yesterday morning, we are attending one north-south wedding in our town and I am in nice pattu saree and the Mister is in silk mundu with matching shawl and all. On the way, he is saying, Kamalamma, you are taking so long to dress up, maybe wedding will be over by the time we reach. I am little bit worried and when we are reaching destination, I am rushing into hall at 80 kms/hour and asking everyone if wedding is over or still going on. Bride’s side people are saying don’t worry, wedding is not started only. Then we are also sitting down and suddenly someone is shouting baraat is come, baraat is come and all are rushing to entrance door with welcome thali and flowers and other ritual items. And we are waiting … and waiting. Then someone is saying, baraat is still at main gate, and there is time. After 15 minutes again they are saying ok, now baraat is really coming and again we are getting ready. We can hear music and dhol from far but nobody is coming. Then girl’s mama is slowly going like one spy towards main gate and coming back with information that baraat is still on the way and anyone who has left their breakfast half-eaten can go back and finish it, aaram se.  

After half an hour, sound is coming closer and we can see procession in the horizon. Dhol and nagada walas are in full josh and they are shouting this round is for groom’s chachaji and everyone is getting energy and dancing merrily. Then next round is for groom’s mamaji it seems and again all are jumping and dancing and waving money as if they have money trees in their backyard. Like this many rounds are happening for groom’s papaji and jijaji and fufaaji and God knows who else and baraat is moving like tortoise, with pit stops every 5 minutes. 

After maybe 2 hours, wedding procession is finally reaching entrance of wedding hall, but what to tell you … now nobody is there to welcome them. After waiting and waiting, all men from bride’s side are taking nap after 2nd round of heavy breakfast and all women are in green room. 

Someone is shouting baraat is come, baraat is come but girl’s side is becoming too much smart and we are looking at each other and saying 100% this is also false alarm and nobody is moving. 

Then, someone is calling up girl’s father and saying we are at entrance, what to do now and father is saying oho, caterers have arrived is it, maybe you can start serving lunch, and that fellow is saying no, no, not caterer uncle-ji, your damaad is arrived. And poor father is full confused and saying, damaad, what damaad, you please tell him to go back, first baraat has to come!  

Then, bride is jumping into the drama and saying aiyyyyo appa … and after 5 minutes, confusion is sorted and wedding is happening at correct muhurtham only, and all is well! 

Abbabba! 

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