Idli needs a PRO: After new bio-diversity study says it’s hurting the planet

Idlis are on the warpath! Halo askew after a National University of Singapore study called them the bio-diversity bad boy of the breakfast table, they are letting out little jets of steam when poked. One day basking in their high status, the next day ranked below French fries!
Rava idli and podi idli eye each other suspiciously as idli Manchurian frantically tries to tear off its Chinese tag. Kanchipuram idli, weighed down by ginger and curry leaves, heaves a spicy sigh. Throwing themselves against each other in anger only makes a squishy sound owing to their constitution, which is mainly rice, pulses or plain semolina, sometimes oats or ragi. You may think them too fluffy and roly-poly, but right now all types of idlis are foaming up their batter.

Idlis have had their share of woes. ‘I hate the north,’ exclaims one lily-white idli, ‘they dissolve me in sambar and sip me with a straw! It’s all about the sambar, not me! At least in the south I am cast as hero.’ Idli loves to pose with red and green chutneys. Idli hates being married to vada. Vada, the deep-fried spouse, smirks – it never entered the green race in the first place.

Idlis pride themselves on being nutritious, no-nonsense and ever so soft. Even a toddler should be able to pierce their centre and wear them like large edible rings on their fingers. Else they get called stone idlis and are eaten only after a hammer is located and used. Yes, some idlis, like overbaked cakes, are more weapon than snack. They can loosen teeth if bitten into.

Between seventh and 12th centuries, after the first idli was born in faraway Indonesia, they migrated to Karnataka around 10th century as ‘iddalige’. The south adopted it as a state snack. Unlike dosa, which is called dosha in Malayalam, dosai in Tamil and dosey in Kannada, idli travels as idli everywhere it goes. Ghee idli and button idli are named as found. Thatte idli is for those to whom size matters and Khushboo idli is strictly for fans of actress Khushboo.

Suddenly declared eco-unfriendly, idlis are humming Madhuri Dixit’s song ‘Iddlee do…’ as dirge. Ramassery idli, the king of idlis, watches idly. Some idlis are tiddly in a bar, those served on a banana leaf pompously dismiss this as a piddly matter, and the already eaten idlis say diddly-squat.

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